Going through a divorce is never easy, but it can be particularly stressful for your kids. Children are more perceptive than you may expect, and they may be picking up on unresolved tension in the household. At the very least, they may feel like something has changed in the family dynamic, and it should be addressed sooner rather than later. Getting a divorce with the help of a St. Louis, MO, divorce lawyer can be your optimal option.
Divorce Can Be a Smarter Option
Many people across the world may go through severe marital problems and ultimately decide that staying together for the sake of their kids is the right thing to do. That could very well be the decision you and your partner make as well, and it could result in a strengthened bond that keeps the family unit together.
However, that is not always the case, and choosing to hold an unsustainable marriage together can often result in increased tension, pain, rage, and awkwardness.
Growing up in a household where both parents openly resent each other can affect your children’s upbringing and skew their outlook on life. It can impact their views on relationships and encourage emotional negligence. When it comes to fostering a strong relationship with your children, it is important to prioritize a strong co-parenting plan with your spouse. Regardless of how you two may no longer feel about each other, you shouldn’t let the kids feel that pain.
Staying together for the sake of your children can severely impact their development in a negative way. It can create feelings of resentment, anger, confusion, emotional distress, and unhappiness that your children may struggle to accept. In trying to force stability where it does not exist, you may only succeed in pushing your children away from you and creating a great deal of strife, some of which may not be easy to come back from once it’s introduced.
The Risks of Preserving the Marriage
In many cases, children in an unsustainable marriage may be much better off with parents who recognize the toxicity in their dynamic and take the right steps to end the marriage while also prioritizing a co-parenting plan and child custody arrangement.
It is important to be honest with your children when it comes to a divorce. They may understand more than you think. In the end, it is your choice to do what you consider right for your family. Here are some of the risks of staying together:
- Unhealthy relationship models. Children may look to their parents as models for how they should perceive the relationships in their lives. This helps them prepare themselves for dating and marriage. By remaining in a broken marriage for their sake, you may be inadvertently showing your children a terrible model for relationships that they may take to heart and carry with them throughout their lives. They might emulate your behavior.
If you grow up surrounded by familial chaos, fights, arguments, verbal attacks, and domestic violence, it can affect the way you see relationships. It can foster feelings of insecurity, pain, blame, and bad communication. After all, you want your kids to feel safe and secure in their lives. Maybe breaking the cycle of toxicity is how you accomplish that.
- Parental alienation. In an unsustainable marriage, it may be common for parents to try and build alliances with their children. People in a fragile home tend to pick someone to trust, vent to, or rely on, creating an environment that can almost feel like a war zone.
If parents choose to stay together for their kids, they may end up pitting their children against one another and alienating them from the other parent. It may not even be intentional.
FAQs
Q: Does Adultery Impact a Divorce in Missouri?
A: Legally, adultery really should not impact the result of your divorce. Missouri is a no-fault divorce state, which means a judge does not have to order a divorce decree based solely on evidence of adultery. However, finding out your spouse is cheating on you can leave the jilted spouse feeling enraged, betrayed, and vengeful. Those feelings can take the form of a contested divorce, which can get messy and personal.
Q: Do Many Divorces Go to Trial in Missouri?
A: No, most divorces in Missouri do not make it to trial. They are largely decided out of court during the negotiations phase. Nearly all uncontested divorces are decided out of court because nearly everything is calmly negotiated by the two spouses together and fairly amicably. A divorce goes to trial when both parties refuse to compromise on the settlement, and it is often a last resort if negotiations do not go the expected way.
Q: What Is a Contested Divorce?
A: A contested divorce occurs when both parties are unwilling to reach any sort of agreement regarding the finer details of their divorce. These details include asset division, custody arrangements, spousal support, and more. A contested divorce can get personal, confusing, emotional, and infuriating. It’s important that you reach out to an experienced divorce lawyer who can help navigate a contested divorce and make sure you aren’t taken advantage of.
Q: Does a Judge Decide Child Custody in Missouri?
A: Generally, yes, a judge makes the final decision on child custody in Missouri. However, this is typically only if the parents are not able to reach an amicable decision regarding custody by creating a parenting plan together.
In a contested divorce, working together is commonly out of the question. When considering child custody, the judge will look at both parents’ finances, both parents’ availability to raise their child, and even consider the child’s wishes if they are old enough.
Reach Out to a Divorce Lawyer
Above all, when it comes to ending your marriage, you want to make sure your kids do not get caught in the crossfire. No matter what happens, you are still their parent, and you want them to succeed in life with strong emotional health. A good divorce lawyer can help you keep things on track. The legal team at Stange Law Firm understands what you need during this difficult experience. Contact us to speak with a team member about a consultation.
