Getting a divorce and avoiding revenge

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Family Law on Friday, March 9, 2018.

Divorce can be such a painful experience that many unhappy exes in Missouri might feel like getting revenge on a former spouse. However, there are a number of reasons why this is likely to backfire. For starters, a divorce that’s dragged out by one person will be costly to both.

Another reason to avoid seeking revenge is the effect it has on children. Some angry parents might feel that the children need to know what kind of a person their other parent is. However, children should be able to build a relationship with both parents and come to their own conclusions. Furthermore, if one parent tries to turn children against another parent, the result could be animosity in the opposite direction.

Studies show that revenge is rarely as satisfying as people imagine it will be. Furthermore, not seeking revenge appears to allow people to move on more quickly. A judge may also be less swayed by hearing an ex’s recitations of how they were wronged. Ultimately, a better focus than revenge is setting boundaries. This may be particularly important for parents. Since they will be co-parenting for years to come, establishing these boundaries early on may help make the process run more smoothly.

People might want to discuss their goals for a divorce with an attorney. It is important to strike a balance between not making the divorce last longer because of spite and making sure the separation agreement is fair financially. Divorce can often leave people struggling financially, so it is important for spouses to make sure they receive their share of marital assets. If the couple has a prenuptial agreement, this will detail how their assets should be split; although, it could be challenged on grounds such as insufficient legal counsel for one spouse.

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