Missouri parents supporting adult children going through divorce

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Legal Separation on Tuesday, December 18, 2012.

When a husband and wife decide to file for divorce, the decision affects everyone in their immediate circle. Typically, when we talk about separation or divorce we tend to focus on how it will affect children. And while this is still a concern for many, it’s important to also address the fact that many adult children end up moving back in with their own parents following a divorce.

For the parent of an adult child who is going through a divorce, this can be an extremely fragile time. Quite often the one going through the divorce cannot afford their own place while reaching a divorce settlement — and especially when children are involved — need a nurturing place to stay. However, for the parents this can also be a tough time, especially if the divorce is not something that the parents agree with.

This is why it’s important for the parents who are allowing their adult children to move in to have an idea on what to expect and to set clear expectations. This means having a flexible timeline for how long the adult child — and possibly their grandchildren — will be living back home.

Also, during this time, talk about what is expected around the house in terms household duties and paying for expenses. It’s important to realize that while the adult child may be going through a tough emotional time, coming back home is not the same as having a house guest where all of their room and board needs are taken care of.

Also understand that this is a time for an adult child to redefine their roles. For the father, this means adjusting to not being a husband and not seeing his children every single day. For the mother, this means also adjusting to not being a wife, and again, spending fewer hours with their children. For everyone, this can be a hard adjustment.

However, the good news is that while divorce can be tough on families, it is something that many Missouri families go through — and survive — each year.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Back To The Nest after Divorce,” Marsha Temlock, Dec. 15, 2012

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