Keep your emotions in check during a legal separation

If you and your spouse are considering a legal separation, then you are likely feeling a mixture of strong and complicated feelings. It is understandable if you are experiencing intense anxiety. After all, your marriage is in the balance, and you have no idea what the future holds.

You may also be feeling anger and resentment toward your spouse stemming from many of the reasons that led to the separation. And of course, there is the sadness caused by the disintegration of your relationship.

But once you have carried through with the separation, it is important to remember that you are not divorced, and you still have a measure of responsibilities within the context of your marriage. This means that your actions during the period of separation could affect your settlement terms should you ultimately file for divorce.

As such, you cannot let your emotions get the better of you and drive you to do things you will later regret. A writer on the topic of divorce cites the following behaviors as being detrimental to your cause:

• Drinking to excess or using drugs to alleviate anxiety.
• Doing things out of spite to anger or inflict pain on your ex.
• Sending texts or emails when you are upset. You especially don’t want to hit “send” on a message that you wouldn’t want your ex’s attorney or a judge to read.
• Speaking ill of your ex around your children.
• Making threats against your spouse.

Essentially, you want to avoid doing anything that could bathe you in a negative light during your separation. Such actions could affect many aspects of your final settlement; in particular, your child custody terms. So you want to find positive ways to reassert a sense of control over the situation.

One positive move you can make is to secure the services of an experienced family attorney. Having an attorney means having someone on your side who can act on your behalf and offer important advice and guidance.